"RAM" shall mean Real Actual Memory, or alternatively, Random Arbitrary Megabytes, whichever is funnier at time of download. "You" refers to the User, hereinafter also known as "the Victim," "Dear Customer," or "Bestie." "MoreRAM™ Pro Cloud" (the "Platform") refers to this webpage and the vibes therein.

MoreRAM™ Pro Cloud provides a simulated memory augmentation experience via photon-encoded CloudSync™ packets transmitted over your existing Wi-Fi signal. The Platform makes absolutely no warranty, express or implied, that your computer will perform any differently whatsoever. By proceeding, you acknowledge this is a spiritual RAM upgrade.

We guarantee 99.998% uptime, calculated excluding Mondays, weekends, Filipino holidays, rainy season, brownouts, your ISP's feelings, and any Mercury retrograde period. Downtime credits will be issued in the form of thoughts and prayers.

RAM is a registered concept of your computer manufacturer. Downloading more RAM is technically impossible and we know it. You know it. The computer knows it. We're all just having fun here, okay? This is satire. Please do not sue us. We are broke.

MoreRAM™ Pro Cloud shall not be liable for: (a) your computer exploding, (b) your computer not exploding when you wanted it to, (c) sudden uncontrollable urge to touch grass post-installation, (d) any existential crises triggered by this website, (e) your mom finding out you tried to download RAM.

All sales are final. All sales are also free. Requesting a refund will result in us sending you a single blade of grass in an envelope.

This Agreement shall be governed by the laws of the Cyberspace Republic of Funny, arbitrated by whoever's turn it is to bring snacks. Any disputes will be resolved via best-of-3 rock-paper-scissors, overseen by a neutral third party (specifically, a golden retriever named Chikso).

By checking the box below, you confirm that: (i) you are a legal adult who should know better, (ii) you understand computers do not work this way, (iii) you consent to receiving a gentle reminder to go outside after installation completes, and (iv) you have read this entire agreement, which we both know is a lie.